New Friends

It is easy to fall into a routine when you hang out with the same people day in and day out. I propose you do something new. Hang out with new people. Step out of your comfort zone and make some new friends!

Go out and do something you don't normally do.  You may surprise yourself by enjoying the company of people you usually wouldn't hang out with. It is a great way to open up and expand your boundaries. I myself can vouch to that since I moved to a new country where I did not know anyone at all, and today I have broadened my horizon with knowing people from all over the world, it also gives you a perspective of how other people improved being more social but from different places in the world. Being shy is a universal phenomenon.

Six different nationalities in one picture.

Hitch

Keep it simple stupid! (K.I.S.S)

There is one simple thing a person needs to change to come out of their shell, it took me weeks of blogging before I realized the first step a person needs to get to... Stop labeling yourself as being shy, very simple. As long as we keep labeling ourself as shy we will never let it go, we need to stop using the word "shy" in our daily lives, do not EVER say that you are shy, if you have to stay away from certain situation just say you are not comfortable. It is very simple, as my mentor would always say; "Keep it simple stupid!"

Do not label yourself of being shy

When you label something it stays embedded in your mind, it does not matter if it has to do with yourself (which in this case it does) but it could have to do with anything you do in your life. If you keep telling yourself that you suck at certain things, lets take sports for example. "Damn, I suck majorly at tennis", "Oh my god, I am a punk for not being able to talk to that girl..." Things like that will always keep you back from improving, you have to have the confidence of a champion! Muhammad Ali is a good example; "I am the greatest" he kept saying that his whole entire life, look at him now. Yes, I bet he is singing on the Chris Brown song "Look at me now" every day, I would.

Hitch

Video Cast

Here is something you can do to try to get out of your shell, organize a flash mob together with your friends and have FUN! I decided to do this to show you all that you cannot die by messing around together with your friends, you might be embarrassed about your dance moves (not mine of course, I am just to good) but the point is to at least try, trying is what defines you!

And yes, I had no idea about how to dance to the last song.

Interview #1

Had a short interview with a student from my school who used to be shy before but realized that there is no reason to hold back. 

If there is anyone who would like to share their experiences about being shy but today are not, feel free to contact me so I can share your stories with other people and give them some inspiration.

Rejection

We all fear rejection, experiencing something like that can change your mindset totally, you can go from being the most confident person to the shyest person in a second if you get rejected, it does not matter if it is by a girl or boy, or maybe a job you believed that you were perfect for. People will tell you to just stand up and try again, that rejection is something we go through on the daily, but in fact rejection is my number one fear. I have avoided talking to girls just because I was afraid to get rejected, I have been afraid of saying ideas I have had in my head because of the fear of people rejecting them. Today I still do fear expressing all my ideas, and the girl part I have gotten over. I really do understand people who are afraid of approaching the opposite sex, or a person that attracts them and are interested in.

As the picture says, we all handle rejection differently, and the same goes for how we can get over it, some would say; just practice at getting rejected and that will lead you to not even getting touched by it. However, in my case I did not and still do not even dare to practice at getting over the fear of rejection, only thing that I keep telling myself is that having the fear of rejection will hold me back and I will opportunities of a life time, or someone that could be very special to me.

The lesson I can give you of getting over rejection is to come clean about it, tell one your closest friend that you have a fear of getting rejected by certain someone or situation. When you can talk about it, it means you have realized the problem and that you really want to change. Remember, it is better to get rejected then regretting something years later and be mad at yourself, you are doing yourself a favor if you get over rejection.

Comfort Zone

In my last post I asked you all to wear something that you guys were not comfortable with, I bet maybe one of you did it and you put on something that did not catch peoples attention, when I meant that you need to wear something really ugly then I really meant go all out, goooooo CRAZY with it. Here is an example:

Do you understand what I mean with wearing something comfortable and crazy?

Like any other skill, social skill is and can be cultivated through practice, it all depends on how much you believe in your skill. Lets take basketball players as an example; if a player can make a hundred free throws in a row, he or she KNOWS that they are good at it. However, if they never practice they will never reach that point, same goes for social skills. If you are not out there and and practicing everyday you will never step out of your comfort zone.

I will tell you a story about a young man from Sweden who never spoke in front of more than three people his entire life until he started taking public speaking classes and forcing himself to speak to big groups. Today he speaks for hundreds of people. Would you want to be able to do the same? I would recommend taking public speaking while you are in college, and if you already graduated, take it for "fun". It is said that public speaking is the number #1 fear, before death. Believe ME, you will not die by speaking in front of a crowd, you might mess up, fine. BUT! Who was ever perfect in the beginning? Even today no one is perfect at speaking in front of big crowds, however, there are people who work hard to get better, and that is the most important thing; TRYING!

My task for you is; Pretend that you are having an interview in your head, but you say everything out loud, you are the interviewer and the getting interviewed. All in all, you are holding a conversation with yourself. Start with doing it just by your own, however, I want you to do it in public as well. If that is too much to ask, than listen to music in your headphones and SING, SING your heart out in public in front of people. 

Hitch

Comfortable

I believe there is no person in the world that is not shy, I believe that there is different kinds of "shyness", if it is speaking in public or talking to the opposite gender. I believe there is always something a person will be shy about and there is a good reason for it; insecurities. The meaning with insecurities is being uncomfortable with yourself. (Body parts, the way you speak, the way you walk or the way you you bite your nails. You get the point.)

The first step to having more of a fruitful life is to start being content with yourself, be happy about what you have and use it as your strength. We all are different, which means that we all have something to bring to the table every day. It is not the easiest to look at yourself and be happy about everything you have, and if there is something that HAS to be changed, you work hard for it if it will make you happy and actually lead to you being more comfortable with yourself. Reason why I wrote HAS is because today we believe that we have to look and act like others, else we will not be accepted as a human being quiet frankly.

If you can convince yourself that you do not need to change anything with you and be perfectly content with yourself you should have no problem stepping out of your comfort zone. As long as you do not let yourself think about how others will perceive you, there is no reason for you not to be yourself all of the time.

Tomorrow, I want you to dress up in the clothes you are most comfortable in and walk around downtown with it. It could be bed clothes, the ugliest hoodie or the brightest shoes. I started wearing my pajama-pants to school just because that was the most comfortable clothing I had and I really did not bother dressing up for class. I would never have done that three years ago, now I do it on a daily just because it is "me".

"Most shy people wish they were more confident, because shyness is ultimately a symptom of you being uncomfortable with who you are. You judge yourself based on other people's standards and spend too much time in your own head, thinking of how best to act and react in any given situation. This is nothing more than a bad habit, and it's the sort of thing you can break with regular practice." - Adam Dachis (http://lifehacker.com/)